Robbie and I found a new show. I love finding new shows that we both like. We watch TV a lot. I know it's probably not good, but I read and he doesn't so we can't share books, but we have what I consider cross-over TV interests. My TV of preference is Nancy Grace and Issuses with Jane Valez-Mitchell and his is The Slug Who Ate Manhattan and Shark-o-gator or some such stuff. But in the middle we enjoy the CSI's, Criminal Minds, Eureka (obscure but VERY funny), Bones, Fringe, Heros and 24. Now we have a new cross-over...Warehouse 13. It's a great premise of an FBI undercover kind of operation where these agents are the caretakers of this warehouse full of "artifacts". These consist of Lewis Carroll's looking glass, Ameila Erhart's plane, inventions by Ben Franklin, Thomas Edison and more that were too far beyond their time to be released. Cool premise.
Anyway, the episode today was about 3 of the main characters getting stuck in a house inside the warehouse. They kept trying to escape but everytime they went out one door they just came back in another. Or they would go out through a hole in the roof and come back in through the fireplace. Not scary at all...pretty funny watching the guy try to take the house by surprise and jump out a window just to come flying back in another one. But it got me thinking...
I think that I live my life like that sometimes. I think that I have something licked and POOF! I come down through the fireplace. I tend to get stuck in stuff. Mostly I get stuck in what I think people expect from me, but also I get stuck in what I expect from myself and what I think that God expects from me. It can be a really hard landing. Especially when I start to think that I'm doing a good job. I'm on top of stuff. I've returned every phone call, attended to my kids' every need, the house is clean (well mostly), my van isn't a disaster and POOF! everything falls apart. I have 20 unanswered phone calls, the kids are beating on each other, the house is a landfill and things are falling out of my van when the kids try to get in it from school. It seems like it happens in the blink of an eye. Then I seem to take a running dive at my life. Take it by surprise. If I just speed up, get organized, work harder, be nicer... I can't. No matter how many times I try to climb out the hole in the roof I still come back down the fireplace.
So am I saying that it is hopeless? That no matter how hard you try that you can never be good enough? That we are on this endless treadmill? NO, NO, NO! What I AM saying is that without the Source I can try and try and try and I'll never get out of whatever I am stuck in. I can't make anything happen. I am simply not able. But I know the One Who IS able. I know the One Who holds the key. And it should be just that simple. But it's not. I don't like to turn over control. Not that I'm IN control...I just don't like to think that I'm not.
So how do I turn over control? There are tons of word pictures that I could give. I'm pretty good at that. But the reality is that word pictures are great for describing emotions and feelings but not concrete actions. Concrete actions need concrete words. So here are the words that I use...
Lord, I don't want to give up control so please help me WANT to. Help me WANT to make the right choices and help me WANT to give everything up to You.
See, I could just pray for Him to take control. I could and He would...until I yanked it back. Asking Him to take control doesn't get to my heart that doesn't WANT to give Him control. So instead I pray that He will help me WANT to give Him control because He will. He has and will change my heart so that I WANT it. I need to WANT to WANT it. It's the same with anything that we do. You can do it because it's the right thing to do or because you WANT to do it.
So the next time that you find yourself trying to beat your way of of something only to find yourself right back where you started, stop and pray. Ask Him to help you WANT to give Him control over the situation.